Wednesday, June 11, 2014


I weigh the same as I did last week and the week before*, but I have to say that I'm feeling a definite sense of progress nonetheless.

Reason #1:
We went to the movies Friday night. I caved in and split a container of that really good Arclight caramel corn with my husband.  It tasted like heaven...salty, sweet, buttery, almost-but-not-qute burnt, crispy at first and then melt-in-your mouth later.  This was literally the perfect taboo food, everything I'd been craving and denying myself for weeks, and I relished every single bite.

Image from Foodspotting

10 minutes later, I felt awful.  Not guilty-awful, but physically ill.  The overload of sugar, which would previously have been a non-event, was getting a resounding "Ugh!" from my newly junk-food averse stomach.  Shortly after that, a nasty headache took hold, and I was miserable in the dark for two hours.


Reason #2:
I was sitting in the bathroom late one night before bed (TMI, but there is a point here, I promise!).  After losing yet another round of Level 245 on Candy Crush, I lifted up the iPad, looked down at my leg and freaked out. There was a big old dent in it!  The leg didn't look bruised, but clearly I'd been resting my elbows on it too hard or something.  Cautiously, I poked at it and discovered the hollow was caused by a muscle I'd never seen rising gently all by itself beneath the skin.  Skeptically, I checked my other leg, and damned if that leg didn't have a muscle-dent in it, too.


Reason #3:
My son graduated from high school on Monday, the day I weighed myself for this post.  I'd truly been hoping to have crossed the 10 pound mark in time for the ceremony, so that I might avoid appearing in the pictures in my "forgiving dress" that stretches generously around various bulges.  No such luck.  Out came the dress, and I sighed as I pulled it down over my head.  I looked in the mirror, and was deflated immediately by the familiar sight.  But then I realized the dress wasn't actually stretching over any bulges (other than the boobs, which are supposed to bulge).  In fact, there was (a little!) air in there for a change.  How about that?  So, even though I still appear to be in the late stages of pregnancy in every picture, I can chalk it up, in part, to my somewhat loose-fitting tent.


In celebration of this milestone (my son's commencement, not my breakthrough with the stretch dress), we leave tomorrow for a family adventure in far away places, and I'll be away from the scale for two and a half weeks.  I'll be taking my discerning tummy and my unexpectedly sturdy legs with me, so it's sure to be an incredible trip.

Back here on June 30 with a full report!

* I actually lost half a stone this week, but with rounding, we're still at 9.
** Painful progress.  Both because my head really hurt, and because I truly love that caramel corn and will really miss it.  Hoping I can negotiate a truce with my tummy and just have a bite every now and then.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

How long can you tread water?

One of the best comedy bits ever.

The routine continues:

I just wondering, What would be the effect of an Ark on the average neighbour? Now, here's a guy going to work, 7 o'clock in the morning.  Noah's next door neighbour and he sees the Ark:

Hey! You up there!
What you want?
What is this?
It's an Ark. 
Aha. You wanna get it outta my driveway? I gotta get to work. Listen, what this thing for anyway?
I can't tell you. Hahahahaha! 
Well, I mean can't you give me a little hint?
You wanna a hint? 
Yes, please.
How long can you tread water?

And concludes with this:

'Course Noah had a heck of a job, really. He had to go out and collect all the animals in the world, by two's. Two mosquitoes, male or female And, uh, he had to keep telling the rabbits, only two, only two, only two. So we find Noah pulling up the last two animals. Two hippos and he's really in a hurry to get 'em up because he's afraid that the Lord's gonna call him and ask him to do something else. And his nerves are shot. This is one heck of a job for a man 600 years old.  So we find him pulling up the two last hippos. And of course the Lord does call him there.

Come on fat hippos, hurry up.  Come on will you please? 
What? What you want?
Gotta take one of those hippos out and bring in another one.
What for?
'Cause you got two males down there and you need to bring in a female.
I'm not bringin' nothin' in.  You change one of em'.
Come on! You know I don't work like that.
Well, I'm sick and tired of this! I've had enough of this stuff! I've been working all day. Working on it for days and days. I'm sick and tired of this!! 
How long can you tread water?

My personal record for treading water? About a week.


Instead of getting right into the Fast Metabolism groove as planned, I flatlined this week, as this endeavor took a back seat to a few other things I had going on.  I'll have tales to tell and loads of new recipes to go with them over on Cheesy Pennies in the next few days.  Meanwhile, be on the lookout for any neighbors building arks.